You Are Not To Blame For Your Unhappiness, And Here’s Why

January 8, 2016

Written by: Tina Marcella

Are our “beliefs” killing our happiness?

Living in a European/American home had its challenges. There was a pretty big culture barrier between the rural Euro life, vs. the “modern” American life style especially in the late 70’s/early 80’s.

Cultures clashed as my three siblings and I melded into the chaos, trying to find balance on what was “acceptable” by city standards. We sorted hand-me-downs daily and made sure that whatever food was on our plate was consumed.

We wasted nothing.

Our beliefs were based on those of religious, farmer, European ancestry, yet we were in a huge American city. Some family ideals resonated with me at my core, but most of the time I had questions, a lot of them. Like, why is my religion the right one, while my neighbor’s was wrong?

Sometimes I was condemned for it, other times I was just shut down with a “that’s just how it is,” response.

These beliefs, habits, and traditions have been passed along for generations, and I was now the carrier.

The webs need to be untangled to align with our core, with purpose and our journey. Times have changed, yet the beliefs of my ancestors were still very alive and well.

Using my true feelings as a guide, I felt what made my heart sing…and what didn’t.

What beliefs work for you? What beliefs seem silly? And which beliefs do you wish to stray from, but feel a sense of guilt letting them go? As though you are abandoning your family and its roots.

Mine revolved around where a woman’s “place” was in the world. My whole life I was a servant to others because that was what was modeled for me by my mother.

My belief was that, men and children always came first, and that the mom and wife have a responsibility to them. First the man, then the children. And mom was great because she knew how to do it all simultaneously.

Following in those footsteps for years, I always put everyone first. Getting them where they want to go, while I was slipping further backwards in my own life. My dreams never really mattered. (That was the belief.) I thought I was happy because “they” were. Nothing else mattered when you put yourself last.

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I was exhausted. Sure, I had a lot of friends, but most disappeared when I no longer could “serve” them.

FINALLY over time, I head this nudging murmur in my head. It was my soul’s voice screaming louder than my traditional rules. It got me thinking. What would actually happen if I went against my “traditional” beliefs? How would it feel?

Well, I tried it and….It felt amazing!

I was instantly hooked because for the first time I had thoughts that resonated with me, not my ancestors. ME!

The more I acted on what I truly believed in, the happier I became. I genuinely let go of what didn’t make sense to me, and let the guilt melt away with it, and as a result my life really changed in such a huge and fantastic way.

Now don’t get me wrong, traditional beliefs have their place in life. But the point is that I get to choose which ones!

And life is now richer, more vibrant, and in alignment with my higher self.

What traditions from your family’s history have been holding you back in life?

Tin MarcellaTina Marcella is a Personal Power and Performance Coach. She works with ambitious professionals who are eager to level up in their careers and lives, by helping them overcome obstacles and fear. She assists them in finding their hidden “personal” strengths in order to Rock Out Life!