Today I was in NJ working on Optimus all day. Ania sent me photos later in the day after school of Ryan and his friend / neighbor John. They took a walk all the way from our house to the gas pipeline field that we ride the golf cart on and sometimes take walks on.
What makes this a milestone for me is thefact that it’s the first time he did something significant like this with a friend and not me. Typically in the summer, him and I like to take at least one walk to get pizza. We’ll walk all the way to Dominos on Route 115, coming back home via the same open field pipeline. I had been asking him to do this walk with me all summer long, at least on 5 different occasions. And every time I asked, he said he didn’t want to.
It made me a little sad that he didn’t want to do this walk with me all summer long, but that he jumped at the opportunity to do an even longer walk with John. I asked him about it the next day, and he said the only reason he did it was because they were bored and needed something to do. He said with me there is always something to do and that’s why we didn’t walk together.
Ryan if you’re reading this I want to make it clear that I’m not upset with you in any way. Did I miss our Father/Son walk this summer? Yes. Am I a little sad? Yes. But not at you. I’m sad that my little man is growing up. He’s becoming independent and he’s beginning to live his life, separate from me.
I know we have a long road together Ryan. And I am proud of the man you are becoming. You’re starting to find your way. But I’ll make sure I soak in every single minute I can get with you. Because I know our moments together are limited. And that one day you’ll be a grown adult with your own family.
I love you Ryan. Always and forever.