I have to say today ended up being one of the worst days of my life as far as family goes. Long story short, it was a Sunday and I was home all day. I wanted to spend some time with Ryan, and Ania wanted to go to BJ’s. I tried hanging out with Ryan in the garage working on installing a small camera in mini-KITT, and within minutes it turned into a battle. He got beyond upset when I said we’re going to BJ’s later. As if this wasn’t enough, all he wanted to do was wait for the potential of playing with John. He literally stood by the garage staring at John’s house.
I finally said to him if he’s not going to be engaged with me and willing to do this activity on mini-KITT with me, then I’m leaving. He gets all up in arms and we ended up going inside so he can complain to Ania.
Then it was just a downward spiral from there. We went to BJ’s. That was an absolute clusterfuck. Ryan complained the ENTIRE time. Oh yeah…and prior to BJ’s Ania wanted to get him shoes for school. SO we stop at target and get him FOUR fucking pairs of shoes. Ania – are you frigin kidding me!!!??? FOUR pairs for a child who doesn’t even show apprecation for ONE pair?
Then of course Ryan got upset because we didn’t buy him any toys from Target. I was getting so livid I wanted to scream. He could care less about spending family time together. He could care less that I just paid for 4 pairs of shoes for him. He gets all upset because he doesn’t want to go places we need to go, like BJ’s. In his ‘perfect world’, he said he would prefer only two people at any given time (e.g. I go to BJ’s and he and Ania stays home).
Then over dinner, a filet mignon steak by the way, I brought up the suggestion of going to West End Fair’s fireworks for Ania. Literally that’s all I did. And what do you know- Ryan BLOWS up again. Full meltdown because he wasn’t “prepared” for it. And what does Ania do? Tries to calm him down.
I swear inside an artery was about to pop. Ryan needs discipline. He needs to understand that the world does NOT revolve around him. He needs to realize that punching pillows and stabbing boxes is not alright. He needs to realize that we are an AUTHORITY figure in his life and he needs to respect it. We tell him to do something, like going to a grocery store for god’s sake, he GOES. I’m sick and tired of feeling like I’m not even the parent here.
I feel muzzled because Ania wants to keep the zen in the family. I get so boiling inside I can literally feel a pain in my head. But god for bid I yell at Ryan and all hell breaks loose.
I am very concerned that if Ryan does not respect us as parents or the decisions we have to make as a family, that he will very soon become an out-of-control teenager that does whatever the fuck he wants to do with no consequences for his actions.
Ryan – I love you with all my heart. And it BREAKS my heart when I see that you don’t respect me sometimes, nor do you respect the lessons we try and teach you or the things we try to do for you. You’re a great kid. But I am seriously worried about your future if we don’t make you understand NOW that life is what you make of it, and what you earn from it. Like is not handed to you on a silver platter.