It pains me to say this – but St Patricks weekend 2017, I came home from doing Uber late at night and Ania was sitting at the counter. She caught me cheating with Aisha. Her and I had taken a trip in Optimus to Niagara Falls for an event I was doing. We took a photo together and Ania saw it and then looked up the phone records and saw the history.
I’m ashamed. I’m embarrassed. My world crashed down. Everyone’s world crashed. It’s like I was a sinking ship and brought everyone down with me. I’ve been coping as best I can and figured divorce was the only option. But Ania refused to give in and give up. She layed out a plan where we talked everyday about things. About how I was feeling, why I did it, what exactly I did, etc.
Through those discussions she has come to realize the role she played in my cheating. Obviously I’m to blame, as I made the decision to cheat. But I’ve been unhappy and depressed for years. I had given up. I was empty. There was nothing left. Tank was empty. I longed for happiness. I wanted to smile again. I wanted to feel appreciated again. And Aisha gave that to me.
It’s been about 3 weeks now since I was caught and believe it or not, Ania and I are doing quite well. We both agree it’s like we are dating. We are finding each other and learning about each other. We are different people now, but we are two people who believe in each other and our potential together. We are talking more than we have in a long time, and spending more quality time together doing little things like taking walks or just cuddling.
Neither of us knows where this go. But we’re trying. And so far I am enjoyed our new journey. I feel aweful for what I did. But maybe it was necessary to get her and I to fall in love once again. We’ll see…