Just about an hour ago, I asked Jeff for a divorce and he responded with a no. Something I was not surprised over. The past few weeks, I have more and more been very distant from him and he thought I just needed space but also knew it might be coming since I told him […]

We should strive to help others. My sister Rachel sent me this song at bottom of page. Several of my sisters struggle with depression and anxiety in many forms. For me it was the traumatic  birth and after with the flu that almost killed me after I had Iva. The hospital was not listening to […]

2019 has been a tough year for me. With Optimus I attempted to build a team of supporters. Vehicles, cosplayers, and total strangers – I invited them to join our adventure with Optimus. To join us at shows, to help charities and non profits, and to bring a community of fans together under Optimus Prime.  […]

Medical experts from all walks of life bombard us with their research, claiming to know what’s best for us. And a lot of their advice centers around one important theme: “live a happy, healthy life”. But what they fail to tell you when sharing their expertise: there are never any guarantees. I had an uncle […]

As I write this Ryan, you are in school.  My 2nd grader approaching his 8th birthday.  You are making lots of news friends and forming some special bonds with your classmates.  I know you love it.  And so do I. I tell you this on occasion, and never want you to forget that friends will […]

2017 Letter to family before Optimus trip This was a note I wrote to Ryan and Ania before going on a short trip to Canada with Optimus. She was recovering from her hysterectomy at the time. —————————————— To my peanut and his mommy, So I’m getting ready for another trip with Optimus to Canada. As […]

Start of 6th grade is like any other year. Problems with a few kids. This year it’s a kid named Ryan “Krepple?”. I won’t get into the details than to say how proud I am that you are standing up for yourself. If he pushes you, you push back. If he says something mean to […]

Hey dude. With Optimus one of the things I would do is send letters of encouragement to people once in a while. This is one that I sent to a boy named Max who just got his Eagle Scout award. But the words in here are so important to me to share with you. Because […]

Ania This was an email I wrote to you on July 20, 2017. The day after you gave me the new wedding ring and the day after I gave you your engagement ring. Love you Ania! —————————————– Today back in 1999 is the day we first laid eyes on each other. The day when a […]

My wife – Ania They say when love is real, it never fades away. It just keeps getting stronger with time. And that is the way I feel with you Ania. Married life would never have been half the fun it is, without you as my wife. I could never give you away for anything […]

Ania This was a letter I printed for you and left behind our wedding photo hanging up in the stairwell hallway on Sept 2, 2017…our 12th wedding anniversary. ——————————————————– My feelings on this day – Sept 2, 2017 … 12 years later. I don’t know where to begin. So I’ll just jump right in. This […]

My childhood friend – Joe Geisel Though our friendship did not withstand the test of time Joe, I wanted you to know that you played a big role in my childhood.  We knew each other for so long that I can’t even remember the day we first met or how old we were.  I just […]

Ryan – when you were 8 years old you had a cardboard mailbox in our hallway outside of your office / play room. This was a letter I wrote to you and placed in that mailbox. 🙂 ———————————————— From: Daddy To: Ryan Today’s Date: March 20, 2016 Hi Ryan!!! I just wanted to send you […]

This was an email I sent to mom (who I’d also call ‘nana’) after picking up Ryan in the morning for school and seeing how sad she looked and how empty her house looked. ————————- Nana – I know you’re hurting inside. I know you’re probably in feeling the same type of depression that I […]

You are the strongest person I’ve ever known.  You have gone through so much in your lifetime that it’s a miracle you still have your youth at the time I write this.  I know at times you’re probably depressed at how life had turned out (e.g. Christian and Patrick no longer communicating with you, Uncle […]

There are so many things I want to tell you and so much I want to share with you.  I have a lifetime of experience I want to pass down to you, and so many lessons I hope you never have to learn the hard way.  But I realize life isn’t forever.  And the day […]

this was an article I wrote for the blog on AmericasFootprints.com (10/26/2015).  It gives you glimpse into something I do for you every single night while you’re asleep.  I hope you like it. Love you – Dad ———————————— There is nothing more precious than watching your little one sleep. From the moment your children are […]

Halloween at Nanas turned out to be Ryan’s worst halloween ever, according to him. Won’t get into details, but this was an email I sent to you that night. Thank you for being a strong mom Ania… ————————————————— I am sorry today sucked for you. I am sorry it drained so much out of you. […]

As of the date I’m writing this (January 25, 2015), we unfortunately are no longer in communication with each other.  By my own choice, it has been just over a year since I’ve last spoken or heard from either of you. As you know I sent you both a message in the beginning of 2014 […]

Sept 2018…an email I sent to Ania on our anniversary…18 months after we crumbled… —————————— Celebrating 13 years…wow. 13 years since we 1st said those magic. 19 years later and here we are with a ‘mini family’ of our own. 19 years ago, I never envisioned ending up where we are. I never pictured our […]